His Deceased Wife’s image is on the Fireplace. Do I need to Ask Him to get rid of it?

Reader Question:

i have already been solitary for years! I’m prepared to have a relationship once more, and that I’m not receiving more youthful! I have came across an ideal guy. We both have-been widowed for more than six years. We placed my personal pictures away but not my recollections.

I will be worried because he has their spouse’s picture hanging within the hearth, and then he asked me to believe that it will not be removed. I know he enjoyed their, and I would not ask him to reject it.

I do not feel at ease. I do believe I will feel just like I’m the third person. I don’t know just how to feel about it. Am I able to get some good information here?

–Alondra H. (Montana)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

This is a sensitive question plus one that I have plenty. I want that reframe your idea of this photo. The woman over the fireplace is not their living, breathing spouse. She’s symbolic of the enjoying connection this guy has the capacity to form.

The guy requires their commitments extremely seriously. This is a good thing! He might be also worried about the emotions of mature young children which might start to see the missing image as his or her mummy becoming replaced.

Back when I became a development reporter, used to do a profile on a retired Air power colonel who had generated the leap to Internet entrepreneur. His spouse managed our tv crew at their residence as soon as I inquired if she could provide us with an on-camera “soundbyte” about their home life, she really gracefully declined by describing they happened to be newlyweds so there was actually an other woman who had stood behind that guy for 28 decades before she passed away of breast cancer.  This made the colonel give this lady a large embrace and assert that she look with him on digital camera.

My personal guidance for your requirements: You should not evaluate their later part of the wife as a hazard. See this lady as an ally. The removal of an image won’t take away his thoughts, nevertheless might drive a wedge in a budding relationship with a commitment-oriented guy.

No guidance or therapy information: the website doesn’t give psychotherapy guidance. Your website is supposed mainly for use by people in search of general details of interest for problems people may face as individuals as well as in connections and relevant subject areas. Content material isn’t intended to change or act as replacement for pro consultation or solution. Contained observations and views should not be misunderstood as particular counseling information.

this post